"What makes music inspiring is the human element. Music must be created in the hearts and minds of the performers before it can be shared. It's not only the music that penetrates the soul, it's the beauty, light, and love that emanates from the performers. On tour, we saw each other at our best, our brightest, and most satisfied, when we were singing together...and it is the faces of the singers on stage, radiant with purpose and basking in musical wonder, that I will always remember." – Jessica Lee, Alto

“Music has the most wonderful power to bring people together. Think about it— if we were all put together in a room and were told to be friends, I’m sure that most would turn and go their separate ways. Fortunately, we were blessed with the gift of music with which we can transcend all of our differences, and for at least a moment, become one.” –Taylor Layton, Baritone

"I feel like this has given me an opportunity to sing the way my heart wants to sing...I find myself getting lost in the emotion and beauty of the singing." – Sara Astle, Soprano

For me, the single most important element of making music is capturing the deep emotions that it can evoke. I’ve never before been in an ensemble where everyone understood that concept and put their whole hearts into singing. It’s created so many magical experiences for me and my love for singing has deepened so much! Thanks to every one of you for giving your all! I feel privileged to be a part of you! – Kayleen Mortensen, Alto

“I personally experienced the power of music to break down walls (ones that I didn’t previously know existed) and to lift all willing participants to a level of equality and understanding, creating an environment where people can be open to learning and growing. I, and many other choir members, forged friendships there that will last, and it was because of music.” – Kerrin Gates, Soprano

Please begin with a beautiful tone that is not full of crud!

No warts! No pimples! No melanomas!

I promise all of the subdivisions live in my beat!

Don't sell your subdivisions for a mess of pottage . . .

Let's have a phonating party!

You're not allowed to put your lips out like fish.

Vowel, vowel, who's got the vowel?

Is it possible to have a sustained note stay the same pitch?

Make sure that you sing through birth, sing through sleep, sing through everything.

(To the tune of "Dixie") Look ahead, look ahead, look ahead, stupid head!

Don't make the glottal as wide as the Grand Canyon.

The wobbles are flying around the room.

Wait, last time I checked, staccato meant short!

Would you all just do some little snaps and interpretive clapping?

No hangovers!

PLEASE don't get in the habit of having hangovers.

Be drunk for two beats.

Okay, let's have the "bong" now.

Come out of your cake there.

In your fruity voice there.

That's a brownie moment!

That should be a G, sopranos! (Messes up on piano) That should be an A-sharp, Dr. Allred!

Altos, go smoke a cigarette or something.

Maybe it would help if you knew what the ladies were doing . . . that's a lesson in life!

Tenors ALWAYS walk to the beat of a different drummer.

(Regarding the pianist) Tenors, she's giving you your note with her middle finger!

(To basses, about sopranos) They're winning in the triangle war!

The basses change everything. The basses ruin everything.

We don't use our brains except during the concert!

I don't really read music, I just pretend.

What do you need? Choral enhancing drugs?

Count singing can be used as education or torture.

You're singing everything quasi-quasi.

I'm going to cut your tongue off!

Keep your tongue down or I'll snip it off!

I don't think you resonate in this section. You are like the Suzuki violin player--be like the first violin in the New York Phil.

Imagine your head exploding. What? Your voice teachers haven't done that one with you?

TUM-TUM-TOMB!! That's where you're going to be if you don't get it right!

Do you know where you're going? Because if you dive and hit a rock . . .

(Regarding "Oh, Susanna") She gets progressively uglier as she comes down the hill.

The director is in charge of the tempo, not the choir.

Don't leave it until it's perfect.

Singing is acting!

Don't sing like a neanderthal!

Let that brotherly love show in your tone.

A professional still gives energy even when they're tired.

Don't kill the overtone.

In rehearsal always be in memorization mode.

I promise you if you study your choir music . . . your life will be better.

Never allow a bad sound to come out of your mouth!

Okay, let's hear more bottom on that one.

He whispered in her rear?!

Come on basses! I need your bottoms!

Really bright bottom here, guys.

I'm hearing lots of tenor and no bottom. It's a choir without a butt!

This is not the Grand Canyon. What's the smallest crevice you know . . . ?

There's no "and!" Say "one and toot!"

What's wrong, tenors? It's like there's flatulence in the tenor line!

What's the vowel? Yeah, it's "poo!"

First, there's doo-doo.

You, you, and you are stool movers!

Come on, give it some hair!

We don't want any necking, do we?

I was going to say uvula, but I thought some of you would think I was being off-color.

Lips are great unifiers.

Could you form an ooo vowel? Some of you haven't used your lips in a while.

Let your diaphragms be united.

Come on! Support them like a big pillow! You can land on MY pillow!

All right, right where we left off, where the ladies are holding the men.

Tenors, you need to hold your "loves" a little longer.

You're coming out like you haven't reached puberty yet!

Meet me on beat one; maybe it'll be a date!

There's no glory in your lust.

Sopranos are Gladys Knight and you're the pimps.

Sorry, I was worried about your vibrating.

Please bring out toe and hip and all of the body parts.

Tenors, will you be sexier about it?

Please don't sing if you're not a woman. If you're not sure, we'll let you know.

When you hear an ugly note, it should send chills up your spine. Like a horror movie!

Add a little Russian to your tone.

Like a little rabbit just poked its head up through the snow.

It's just a bunch of fuzz, like nailing a cotton ball to the wall.

No sasquatch in that tone.

Make your "hush" more expressive. (In falsetto:) Oh, look at his cute little face! *kiss kiss kiss*

Pretend you've studied voice for twenty years.

Make it almost . . . I don't know what to say . . . darker . . . like you have a plum in your mouth.

Pretend you're an Aborigine in Africa.

Your "mystical paradise" sounds like a fun center! Like Chuck E. Cheese!

Please, relinquish your power to me!

Wazzup, you-uh?

You can crescendo on a schwa! It's not illegal!

How you doin', woman?

Mark it, woman! That's a market in Jamaica . . . Market Woman?

Oh! I love you.